Last week I started my countdown of my personal top 10 times to light up a cigarette. I wrap up the remaining five here below.
5. After a good meal
If we’re being honest and true to ourselves, breakfast is the best meal of the day. [And if we were to rank breakfasts, group breakfasts the morning after a night out would come in at number one, beating out breakfasts in bed (2), breakfasts while camping (3), McDonald’s breakfast (4), and free continental breakfast (5).] Getting back on topic, any good meal I have is immediately followed by a cigarette. Not literally immediately, as that would be illegal in most places, but upon leaving the restaurant establishment, I’m reaching for my cigarettes. It helps with the digestive process, or so I’ve been told.
No joke, the best single cigarette I’ve ever had was the one I had on the 6th floor balcony of the Sofitel in Manila, overlooking the Manila boardwalk, after having room service breakfast, the morning after my brother’s wedding. LEVELS
4. “The first cigarette of the *summer* in your fucking *shorts*”
This one was sent over by my homie Zeeks. Number four was originally going to go to patio beers, but I think this iteration captures the spirit of patio beers quite nicely. Winnipeggers spend so much time bundled up for winter that it feels so good to shed all those layers and step outside in some shorts and feel the breeze on your legs and the smoke in your lungs.
My official uniform for “the first cigarette of the *summer* in your fucking *shorts*” is as follows:
- Flip flops/Vans Authentics
- Cut-off jean shorts, short swimming trunks, Nike basketball shorts
- White tee/undershirt
- Black wayfarers
3. After a movie at the theatre
You’ve just spent 1.5 – 3 hours in a dark theatre with your attention wholly focused on the story playing out in front of you. You’re there with some friends, a date, maybe even by yourself. When the credits roll and the lights come on, you walk outside, light a cigarette, and think about what you just witnessed and hopefully have someone to talk to about it. You share your favourite parts, your hated characters, your unwanted and mostly uneducated opinion as to what you would have done differently.
Think of it like this:
If drugs = an escape and movies = a temporary escape from reality, then drugs = movies. The cigarette after is the come down.
2. On a cold morning with coffee
I’m really not going to get into detail with this. It should be self-explanatory. Coffee and cigarettes are basically number one when it comes to all-time greatest duos.
Just as a quick aside, my top five all-time greatest duos are coffee and cigarettes (1), Brian Azzarello and Eduardo Risso (2), beer and shinny games (3), Guru and DJ Premier (4), and Sriracha and anything (5).
1. After layout night
I’m one half of the layout team on production nights for the physical version of The Projector, and on every production night, which happens every second Wednesday and Thursday, no matter how hard we try, we always end up leaving the office five or so minutes before campus security kicks us out at midnight.
It can be a pretty stressful time. I’m not going to go over it in detail, but there is a lot of cussing involved as the minutes tick away. The production team works with the tightest deadline among all staff, and you can definitely feel the frustration in the room. That said, we always find a way to send the file to the printers on time.
It may not sound like much, but I wouldn’t expect everyone to understand the feeling. When you’ve been staring at a screen for almost 7 hours straight reading the same stories over and over and coming through each page for any weird mistakes, you better believe that post-cigarette will be wonderful.
People will be people, technology will be technology, and cigarettes will kill you.
Reynold's Wrap-Up 